It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
