I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
sarcasm needs its own font
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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