i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
