She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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