i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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