I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
