Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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