and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
