Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
