don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
where are my pants?
in the oven.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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