my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
