I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
