I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
