isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
