pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize