I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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