i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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