i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
