Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
