there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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