its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
