Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I think a kid would responsible me up
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize