90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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