ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize