OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I haven't been this sober since birth.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
