i wish peter jackson would direct porn
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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