So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize