I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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