were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
