their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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