Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
