Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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