Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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