he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize