Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
