Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found the puke drawer
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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