**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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