you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
