Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
