I'm eating all of the evidence.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
