Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
