It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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