You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
did you just send me my own nude
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
