mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
