It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
