so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Randomize
