I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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