Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
