I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Randomize
