I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Randomize
