What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Do you still have your period?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
