Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
