my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I wear drunk well.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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