And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
