I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
