The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize