You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
