I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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