mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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