oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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