it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
