dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
