Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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