Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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