omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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