From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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