you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
being pregnant is like rehab
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
