Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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