Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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