I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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