I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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